|
|
 |
     |
| From: |
Gail |
| Date: |
Friday, July 04, 2008 11:30 PM ET |
| To: |
Teresa |
| Subject: |
Re: Gail |
|
I have cried talking to the neighbors when I've been out cutting the lawn and a couple of the Moms have come and talked to me, but to go their house and cry in front of their kids is just too hard for the kids.
I went out tonight thinking it might help getting out of here with our friend that comes over at night, thought we'd watch the fireworks from the car, but they took so long to start, I lost my patience waiting. I can really tell I'm coming off of the antidepressant, I feel more clear headed but am definitely getting more depressed. I can't imagine what it's going to be like when I come off of the xanax too. I just can't imagine living my life without him at all, I just can't. He was just the best thing that ever happened to me in my life and I still can hardly believe he's gone.
Before we went out tonight, I went for a short walk to return a vase to someone who had brought me a little bouquet of flowers to their house. I tried to pretend he was next to me holding my hand the way we always walked, but it just isn't the same, that's for sure. I just don't know how people do this, I don't and I don't know if this complicated grief is really a lot worse or not. All I know is my Dad is in the hospital waiting to be put in a nursing home for rehab and I haven't even been able to go see him and I was always the one to be following everything, all of his test results, blood work, etc. If I don't get any better, I'm going to have to turn my Power of Attorney over to my sister, this is just so much at once. Dennis was SO healthy and took such good care of himself and everyone else and here's my Dad, and don't get me wrong, I really love him, but he drank and gambled all of his life, fell and had a terrible concussion once and was in rehab for months but came out of it, then shot himself in the head and missed his brain by a hair and he's still here, but God took my Dennis who was always there to help everyone.
Love, Gail |
|
Replies:
|
|
