Re: Hi Josie I got some news
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From: Denise
Date: Sunday, March 04, 2018 5:17 AM
To: Josies-angel
Subject: Re: Hi Josie I got some news
Hello all
It’s ok I will go ahead and post here, it wasn’t meant to be excluding it was just because I recalled Josie you had shared with me about you had got to meet your birth father earlier in your life.

But so I was given the most likely candidate of who she is and phone number. And photo. I was also by the investigator given the other possible woman’s info who could possibly also by my birth mother.

The thing is still not 100% answered. The woman who would most likely be my birth mother does not look nearly as much as me as the other person who stat wise would be less likely to be my birth mom but... her eyes are just like me.

It’s so much to share here— the short version is I called option #1— the woman as I said who doesn’t look quite as much like me but supposedly her info indicates a higher likelihood of being her. And I called her and she said she never had any kids so when I said ok sorry to bother you, I will continue my search elsewhere, goodbye she suddenly stopped me and said “wait” didn’t want me to hang up- she asked what did you say your name was, and then I had this pulling feeling in my stomach. She said well what area about do you live? Etc and drew me into conversation with her that ended up—- THREE hours and 20 minutes!
Since then we talk about 3-4 times a week, sometimes I call her and sometimes she calls me. Our calls have always been minimum of 1 hour and longest was believe it or not—- 4 hours!!!

As I’ve talked to her I don’t bring up again at least not yet the issue of my adoption because I was told that on rare instances a birth mother had enough trauma surrounding the whole pregnancy/ relinquishing of a child they literally lose their ability to remember—- either they may only have hazy images and be emotionally disconnected and not be able to mentally accept or remember having placed a child for adoption or they may lose all memory for the most part like a traumatic amnesia. It’s rare but does happen.

So is possible she had a lot of trauma around it and is disconnected from the memory and reality of it. But somewhere within her it feels familiar talking with me . She certainly seems really extremely interested in talking with me a lot and knowing what’s going on in my life etc if she indeed is NOT my mother.

Yet the other option as I said is this other woman I’ve never talked to who I was told she could be her but less likely BUT her eyes are so so much like me.

For now I feel like I should keep this connection with “K”— the elephant in the room at least to me when we talk is that she may be and probably is my birth mom but she said she never had any kids—- but for some strange reason if that’s true she sure wants to keep a very close connection with me. Sometimes sends an email just to say hi or send me a picture of her cat, etc

So I appreciate continued prayers I won’t have real peace until I know
Thank you

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