Like some things in life we don't really know why a certain memory comes up for us, it was back in March I began thinking more about my best friend from childhood who was tragically hit by a car...I was so young at the time she died plus my parents esp my mother never helped me talk about her or my grief over what happened, that basically I shut down and now looking back realize I lost all memory from the point I was told she had died until about two years after-- zero memory not one single thing can I recall, even though before her death I have a lot of memories....she lived a few houses up
From me and we were in the same classroom at school so everyday spent all day together..I can still see her in my mind seems like she was always smiling or laughing and was so loving and accepting of me, made me feel some welcome bringing me to her house giving me one of her toys we would walk home from school together most days and one sad day we walked home from school, I went to the dentist and the next morning my dad pulled me aside to gently break the news that I wouldn't see her at school that day because she had been hit by a car, he told me she was in heaven and I couldn't see her anymore-- too much for my brain to accept so I bargained with him asking then how I could get over to that place heaven and he said no I couldn't go there because he wanted me with them...I felt so overwhelmed and confused and couldn't quite understand but could feel fear and my stomach was upset... From the point I have no ability to remember anything for close to two years...So years past and my trauma and memories were stuffed down ... When I was about 26 yrs old she visited me in a dream to give me a message ! In the dream visit she was wearing a beautiful dark green dress of velvet, sitting in a fancy chair with a high back and said she needed to tell me a secret and whispered just how she likes to whisper secrets to me that weren't really secrets but she would whisper something and giggle... In the visit dream she began to tell me something about the mysteries of heaven but when I woke up I couldn't remember what she said I just remembered joy coming from her that was so strong, the feeling of joy was so strong from her that I began to feel it and started laughing from pure joy and woke up...she wasn't like a regular person she was a heavenly visitor |
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