Thank you for your thoughtful and kind response.
The grief is indeed horrific and has been paralyzing at times. I went on Wellbutrin at the suggestion of a friend over a month ago, and I am pretty sure that's why I'm functioning. I cry most mornings, but I'm able to get to work after that and make it through the day somehow. It's only been two months, so my sleep and appetite patterns are still very off. I still keep saying "I can't believe it. I just can't believe it." Totally blindsided -- I never thought she'd leave me this way, without having a chance to talk about it or to say goodbye. I just can't even fathom where her thoughts/feelings were those last two days as she casually chatted with me over Facebook like nothing was wrong.
I've also heard that when folks die by suicide, they take time to 'adjust' to being on the other side and that ADC's may increase over time. I am still skeptical and still learning; just trying to keep an open mind to all of this. More than anything, I'd like a dream visitation -- real or not! I just want to feel close to her again, even if only in my dreams.
As to IADC -- I heard about it on Afterlife TV, and I looked into it already. I spoke to a therapist who is about 130 miles north of where I live, and I think I'll give it a shot in a couple of months. Where did you find reviews? Would you recommend just googling the therapist, or is there some place where that might be available?
Thank you again. <3