I lost my boyfriend and (reunited after 12-yes apart) high school sweetheart to suicide in 2012. He had also talked about it, but like you, I was blindsided. It was the darkest time or my life.!
The grief was horrific. Even typing this it still hurts, but joy will little by little seep back into your life. You'll never get over it, but you will get passed the paralysis of hardcore grief.
I am so very sorry for the loss of your beloved! My heart hurts for you!
I received many ADC's during the darkest days of my grief, so you do not have to be out of intense grief to have them. Some have them right away. Others months or years later. Keep the hope, and it will happen!
Some things I have found to help get ADC's from my boyfriend are white noise like a fan or a sound machine, keeping his ashes close by, talking to him, writing letters to his FB, poetry. I visited places special to us. Listened to his favorite songs. Begged for a sign. Spent time in meditation, prayer, and like you read whatever I could on the afterlife and watched videos in YouTube and Bob Olsen was a favorite. You are certainly doing your part in showing the universe that you want to receive an ADC! I feel in my heart you will get one.
A p. also an option (but please find one that has reviews as there are many sharks out there pouncing on ppl' grief.) Induced After Death Communication is also something to Google. I've never done it, but would like to.
You are in my prayers. Again, I feel in my heart you will receive ADC's. Much love! There is a great group of folks here. They helped carry me through my darkest days. You have found an extremely loving group of people here! Much love and many prayers!